And then the inevitable confusion:
"Hey, you're that prophet guy, Elijah, right?! "
"No, I'm.."
"Yeah, I read all about you! How you set up them Baal-worshipers with that big test, and the flames from the sky, and how you resurrected that kid. Say, how did that big ball of flame look like?"
"Actually..."
"Ooh! Ooh! and that big flaming chariot! How far did you fly in that? I'm not supposed to believe that it took you to Heaven, but now that we are all here, can you tell me what really happened?"
"Okay, a moment, please. I am not Eli-jah. I am Eli-shah! I was the one with the she-bears that ate those 40 kids."
"Oh. Well....Can you point out Eli-jah for me? HE's the one I want to meet..."
Captain Schmideo2
JoinedPosts by Captain Schmideo2
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11
Paradise After Death:Mark Twain calls out some of the stupider ideas-
by Captain Schmideo2 in"in paradise, i am going to visit [insert favorite bible character here]" - said at least once in their life by every devout jw.now, for some hard, cold practicalities-excerpt from "captain stormfield's visit to heaven"“oh, there are a lot of such things that people expect and don’t get.
for instance, there’s a brooklyn preacher by the name of talmage, who is laying up a considerable disappointment for himself.
there’s millions of people down there on earth that are promising themselves the same thing.
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Captain Schmideo2
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Paradise After Death:Mark Twain calls out some of the stupider ideas-
by Captain Schmideo2 in"in paradise, i am going to visit [insert favorite bible character here]" - said at least once in their life by every devout jw.now, for some hard, cold practicalities-excerpt from "captain stormfield's visit to heaven"“oh, there are a lot of such things that people expect and don’t get.
for instance, there’s a brooklyn preacher by the name of talmage, who is laying up a considerable disappointment for himself.
there’s millions of people down there on earth that are promising themselves the same thing.
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Captain Schmideo2
"In Paradise, I am going to visit [insert favorite Bible character here]" - Said at least once in their life by every devout JW.
Now, for some hard, cold practicalities-
Excerpt from "Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven"
“Oh, there are a lot of such things that people expect and don’t get. For instance, there’s a Brooklyn preacher by the name of Talmage, who is laying up a considerable disappointment for himself. He says, every now and then in his sermons, that the first thing he does when he gets to heaven, will be to fling his arms around Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and kiss them and weep on them. There’s millions of people down there on earth that are promising themselves the same thing. As many as sixty thousand people arrive here every single day, that want to run straight to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and hug them and weep on them. Now mind you, sixty thousand a day is a pretty heavy contract for those old people. If they were a mind to allow it, they wouldn’t ever have anything to do, year in and year out, but stand up and be hugged and wept on thirty-two hours in the twenty-four. They would be tired out and as wet as muskrats all the time. What would heaven be, to them? It would be a mighty good place to get out of—you know that, yourself. Those are kind and gentle old Jews, but they ain’t any fonder of kissing the emotional highlights of Brooklyn than you be. You mark my words, Mr. T.’s endearments are going to be declined, with thanks. There are limits to the privileges of the elect, even in heaven. Why, if Adam was to show himself to every new comer that wants to call and gaze at him and strike him for his autograph, he would never have time to do anything else but just that. Talmage has said he is going to give Adam some of his attentions, as well as A., I. and J. But he will have to change his mind about that."
...“Like as not. Of course they [the Patriarchs] are pretty exclusive. They hardly ever show themselves to the common public. I believe they never turn out except for an eleventh-hour convert. They wouldn’t do it then, only earthly tradition makes a grand show pretty necessary on that kind of an occasion.”
“Do they all turn out, Sandy?”
“Who?—all the patriarchs? Oh, no—hardly ever more than a couple. You will be here fifty thousand years—maybe more—before you get a glimpse of all the patriarchs and prophets. Since I have been here, Job has been to the front once, and once Ham and Jeremiah both at the same time. But the finest thing that has happened in my day was a year or so ago; that was Charles Peace’s reception—him they called ‘the Bannercross Murderer’—an Englishman. There were four patriarchs and two prophets on the Grand Stand that time—there hasn’t been anything like it since Captain Kidd came; Abel was there—the first time in twelve hundred years. A report got around that Adam was coming; well, of course, Abel was enough to bring a crowd, all by himself, but there is nobody that can draw like Adam. It was a false report, but it got around, anyway, as I say, and it will be a long day before I see the like of it again."
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Serena William is 'fighting for women'?!
by LoveUniHateExams inso serena williams lost the us open final 6-2, 6-4 to naomi osaka, her japanese-american opponent.. williams received three code violations from the umpire, carlos ramos: .
1. a warning for illegal coaching (subsequently admitted by williams's coach).
2. a point penalty for smashing her racquet.
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Captain Schmideo2
I follow this dictum in my life:
I don't feel sorry for rich people.
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2018 JWBroadcasting "Higher education is useless" video CLIP
by Not_Culty insept 2018. https://vimeo.com/288327363.
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Captain Schmideo2
My son went to one of the best schools on the planet, got in through a combination of hard work, great grades, a terrific attitude, and other more nebulously defined factors.
Graduated in June of this year, and makes twice as much money as I do right now, at the age of 54, with a salary and benefits that I never would have dreamed of having when I was his age of 23.
He is self sufficient, fortunately has little debt, has the love of a fine young woman with a career of her own, and, only the most twisted and hateful mind on the planet could term his life at this point "a failure".
Oh, and he decided as a young teenager that the Bible was a bunch of dingo's kidneys, especially after reading Genesis, and is pretty much an Atheist.
Gosh, I am jealous of how his life turned out! -
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Blade Runner mentioned in the Watchtower
by ThomasCovenant incan anyone remember or point me to a quote in either the watchtower or awake where they spoke adversely about some of the violent scenes in the original blade runner film.
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thanks.
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Captain Schmideo2
You haven't even mentioned the Awake on comic books...
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Bill Nye vs Ken Ham debate
by Whynot indid anyone else watch the bill nye versus ken ham debate?
it happened february 4, 2014 and just watched it a few months ago.
i thought it was interesting but must confess that i felt extremely embarrassed for ken ham.
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Captain Schmideo2
If you saw the Bill Nye documentary, you would see that he did not have the support of the atheists that were protesting Ham's "Ark project" because it would only lend credibility to Ham.
And they were right.
Once the debate was over, contributions to Ham increased dramatically, allowing him to fund his bullshit further.
I like Bill Nye, but that was a serious misstep on his part. -
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Anybody else notice the NWT bible on the cover of June 1, 2018 Newsweek?
by Wild_Thing init was supposed to be a striking image to portray how persecuted they are.
it looks like just another elder using his bible to me.. read more about it, here: http://www.newsweek.com/behind-scenes-newsweeks-international-june-1-cover-art-960456.
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Captain Schmideo2
And the first thing I thought of when I saw this cover:
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My son graduated last Friday
by Captain Schmideo2 ini have talked about him before on this forum.
he is now a graduate from mit!.
it was a lovely weekend.. i got to meet some of the friends he has made in the past four years, and some of their families.. they were very nice, decent, friendly, and enjoyable people.
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Captain Schmideo2
Xanthippe: You got that right! I decided to break the cycle with my kids. I love my parents, but I really feel they held me back, and didn't aggressively pursue higher ed for me like they could have. I could have gotten scholarships, I had the grades to be at the top of my class in High School, but that Witness mentality and that fear of other people's opinions in the congregation pretty much ensured that I would never meet my full potential as a student.
Ironically, both parents are now inactive, and those "friends" of theirs never call. So, there ya go!
I made it my goal that as long as I had it in my power, I would make sure that both of my sons got the opportunities I never did. Now they both have Bachelor degrees, my oldest lives in China teaching English, and seems to have a real calling for it. His company likes him enough to keep renewing his contract, with raises, so he must be doing something right.
The downside is that we don't get to see them in person as much, and that saddens us at times (I also think that is a reason why most JW parents don't want their kids to get too far from the nest. And why you see so many "clans" of JW's in so many Halls). But, I am so proud of the adults they are becoming! -
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My son graduated last Friday
by Captain Schmideo2 ini have talked about him before on this forum.
he is now a graduate from mit!.
it was a lovely weekend.. i got to meet some of the friends he has made in the past four years, and some of their families.. they were very nice, decent, friendly, and enjoyable people.
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Captain Schmideo2
I have talked about him before on this forum.
He is now a graduate from MIT!It was a lovely weekend.
I got to meet some of the friends he has made in the past four years, and some of their families.
They were very nice, decent, friendly, and enjoyable people. Spent an evening at a parents house for an outdoor meal and the weather and surroundings were great.
One chapter of my son's life ends, and a new one begins (well, sort of. He is going for his Masters now, so he is still in school). But, I feel certain that he will continue to grow, to seek out companions that are a positive influence in his life, and he is an adult that I am glad and proud to know!
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JW Parents in bad shape with no retirement.
by blownaway inmy wife's parents are in very bad shape.
they are both 2nd gen jws.
my father in law worked for a large american manufacturing company in the 60s and early 70s.
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Captain Schmideo2
"A few grand" sounds like less than 5k. One medical emergency later, that money is wiped out, and it didn't even pay for the aspirin at the hospital.
Many of us, even with decent paying jobs, will never be able to really retire. Not even on Social Security, since the a$$holes in Congress want to get there hands on that and hand it over to their cronies on Wall Street. But, for those that worked as minimally as possible, people like my Mother In Law, who never worked, never contributed to SSI, whose monthly maintenance is solely dependent on the fact that her husband (not a Witness) gets a pretty big check based on his past earnings. If he goes first, she is going to get a very harsh reality. But, quoting her,"I don't need money, I have Jehovah!" (Who, while he loves taking money in, never seems to dish any of it back out to his faithful "sheep".)